Values
In contrast, values have different motivational properties to goals, which can help us in three ways:
1️⃣ Values can motivate over long periods
Values capture qualities of behaviour which can never truly be achieved. This means they motivate over longer periods of time.
For example, whilst my goal of losing half a stone could one day be achieved (in theory), acting in accordance with the value of ‘health’ cannot be ticked off in the same way. So with values there is always an incentive to improve.
2️⃣ Values can be lived in each moment
Unlike goals, values can be achieved – or lived – in any moment.
One example of this is found in Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning.
Famously, although he was not ‘free’ in Auschwitz, he was able to live his value of freedom by choosing his response to the horrors he saw.
In this way, values remain relevant in any situation. And over time, they bring greater coherence to patterns of behaviour, creating a powerful sense of meaning in life. (My own value of freedom has meant me turning down many opportunities over the years, but I feel this has led to me making far better decisions that have benefited me and my family).
3️⃣ Values widen perspective
Values have a broader focus than goals, tapping into how we want to be remembered and what we want to stand for in life. So goals are ‘what did you do as a person?’ Whereas values are ‘what were you like as a person?’
This means that values are process, not outcome-focused, which can help us to enjoy the moment instead of seeing happiness constantly on the horizon.
The philosopher Alan Watts had a famous metaphor to describe this:
We think of life like a journey…and the thing is to get to the end – success or maybe heaven after you’re dead.
But we missed the point the whole way along; life is a musical thing and we are supposed to sing or dance while the music is being played.
[insert film]
To be clear: goals are great. Some of my best friends are goals! If you really want more traction in your life, set more goals.
But at the same time, goals have downsides – here are 3:
1️⃣ Goals stop motivating once they’ve been achieved
Ironically the fact that goals can be achieved means that once the goal is met, they stop motivating. This leads to 2 issues:
2️⃣ Goals can be variable in terms of longer-term motivation
For example, let’s say some hypothetical person has a goal to lose half a stone in weight this month.
This person cannot realistically meet the goal today, but they CAN eat a hypothetical pastry, winking at them in Starbucks.
The question then arises: can I eat this cake and still meet my their goal?
The mind hates uncertainty, so generally it will suggest doing something to get rid of it, like: “EAT THE PASTRY”.
The hypothetical person then eats the pastry, which is why they have been trying to lose half a stone for about 10 years.
3️⃣ Goals narrow perspective
Goals can be highly motivating, but it’s easy to set goals without really examining why.
And once set, a goal’s gravitational pull can pull us away from the things we truly value.
For example, early in my career I spent a lot of energy pursuing promotions at work. I worked so hard to climb the ladder, only to find the ladder leaning against the wrong wall.